Canada Declares War on Pittsburgh

Following the revelation that federal and county officials rounded up and exterminated 272 Canada geese in Allegheny County's North Park, Canadian Parliament moved to honor a long-standing treaty with GeesePeace by declaring war on Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The Canucks are in for a tough battle, however. County parks director Andy Baechle reports that

they had two people out on the lake in canoes and a guy on land with a laser

rounding up the geese. The geese were collected in cages and shipped to a meat processing plant in Latrobe, PA. No word yet on whether the plant is in any way connected with Rolling Rock beer. The Pittsburgh populace has little to fear. Unlike some countries, in Canada, 'declaring war' is synonymous with 'pursuing diplomacy.'