Saturday, July 07, 2007

Ant Cup

- Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to the friendly match between the antional soccer teams Japant in the red and white jerseys and Spaint in yellow. The outcome of this contest today will not affect either of the team's rankings, and is just to keep the players legs limber and antennae at their peak condition.

- The home team seems to have an advantage today, not having to suffer the excruciating pressure changes during altitude change involved in the plane ride.

- I don't think the Spantiards are used to all of the sushi, either.

- Spaint also had to transfer its captaintcy to a rookie drone after an unfortunate accident on the sidewalk out front.

- With the second half now underway, Japant's striker has firm control of the ball at mid field. I wonder if we will see any of the precision ball handling the Japantese players are known for?

- Or will Spaint's coach bring out some of the sociobiological tricks that team is known for?

- You never know with E.O. Wilson.

- Let's switch to the overhead cam for a view of the entire field. Sometimes we can get a better sense of the action from these shots. Our overhead view is presented today by the folks at GoodYear tires. "We keep you in the car and off the sidewalks."

- I bet the Spaint players wished some more folks were kept off the sidewalks before this match.

- I can't seem to make out any semblance of order, however, and the ball still has not left center field.

- Our antgineers in the control room say that we're getting good signal from the ant-cam. The ant-cam is brought to you by Hoy-Hoy Trap-a-Roach. "It works for spiders, too!"

- Wow! Look at those ants push the ball. Note the players' strict observance of the rules barring forelimbs from touching the ball.

- I'm just glad it's left the center circle.

- You' know, these playants train in the off season with regimented schedules. Busy as their fellow hymenopteran cousins, they devote themselves to amassing large quantities of food all year, just so their little sisters have a chance at survival.

- Enough entymology - back to the game. It seems like E.O. Wilson's team is in serious trouble; the ball is deep in their backfield. Japant's players are poised for a Raid!

- Funny, it doesn't seem as though anyone is paying attention to the ball right now. The Japantnese team is really passing up a golden opportunity here. It's as though a fine particulate mist has fallen on the pitch.

- A good number of defenders are in the vicinity, should the need arise to expel the invading orb. I wouldn't really worry until the ball is in the keeper's box. Team Japant seems prepared to take this food back to the nest. The Spantiards might as well fold up their legs and roll over.

- What happens now? Team Japant has penetrated the keepers box and seems to be poised to score, yet something is missing... Hey, where are the goals?

- I'm guessing they got lost in the shuffle. Let's just count this one a victory for Japant.

- Tune in for next week's match between global powerhouses Antgentina and Frant. I think we can expect some serious social behavior in that game.

- From the leader in world wide sports, AntBC, that's all from this week's Ant Cup.

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